Christmas Pyjamas
by abigryff11
Summary: "This is a moment where you admit your intellectual inferiority to me, your darling pregnant wife." "Hey, at least you remembered you were actually pregnant that time." Some J/L Christmas fluff. One-shot.


**A/N: I don't know why I have been in such a Christmas spirit lately, but here we are again with some more Jily action, holiday edition. Hope you enjoy. As always, please review if you feel so inclined!**

 ***Disclaimer: James and Lily are not mine, but I do take some ownership over their banter. :)**

"…it's not as if he didn't expect the outcome. He was just being a general git about the whole situation and—," James Potter paused his monologue to spit his toothpaste in the sink, "he honestly had it coming."

"Well, it sounds like you were doing very little to discourage him," Lily's voice called from the closet. The shuffling of boxes was heard, interspersed with the occasional _oof_ and _ouch._ "Although I can't say I'm surprised."

"Sirius couldn't be discouraged by Merlin himself," James called back, wiping his mouth on the back of a towel and tossing it, rumpled, onto the sink. "Besides, when you put a Death Eater's wand at that boy's throat, there's no telling what he'll say."

"Well, maybe the scorch scars will teach him to keep his mouth shut every once in a while." A particularly loud tumble of boxes was heard, followed by an unladylike syllable in a high pitch. "Pick up that washcloth I _know_ you just threw onto the sink, James Potter."

The bespectacled boy rolled his eyes, picking up the cloth, and muttering, "If I'd known I was marrying a legilimens, I would have thought a bit harder before popping the question."

"I'm not a legilimens, James, you're just _predictable,_ " she called back from the closet.

He gasped, dramatically. "Perish the thought, Evans!"

"That's _Potter_ to you, prat." An assortment of sounds were heard as several things seemed to crash, ending with the rather large and rather distinguishable thump as a human body hit the floor.

James whipped around toward the closet, shouting, "Lily?!" He bounded the normal ten paces to the closet in two and threw the door open to see a heap of red hair and sweaters. The wizard rushed forward as his wife's head emerged from the laundry heap. "Merlin, are you okay?!"

"I'm fine," she said, scrunching up her nose in irritation, as she picked a sock out of her curls, "Stupid Christmas."

"Can you stand? Are you okay? Did you hit your head?" the boy rambled on, violently running his hands through his untidy hair, hazel eyes wide in fear.

"I'm _fine_ , James, now help me out of this mess before I drown." James grabbed her extended hand and pulled her to her feet, with some difficulty. The heap of laundry was quite hefty and it had done quite the work on trapping Lily's body.

"Are you okay?"

"James Potter, if you ask me that one more time, I will hex you." Lily sighed in exasperation. "I'm fine, now hoist me back up." She put her arms around his shoulders to seemingly steady herself before he pulled away in horror.

"What the hell are you doing? I'm not going to _hoist_ you anywhere, thank you." His eyes grew wide in realization. "Merlin, were you just climbing the shelves?!"

Lil grinned, impishly, but James didn't return the flirtation. "No. No, Lily. Merlin. No, you can't do that."

The witch's face started to turn red. "What do you mean, I _can't_ do that? I can do whatever I bloody well please! I was just trying to get the Christmas boxes down! They're so damn high."

"You're five foot four. I'm not trying to insult your abilities in scaling flimsy shelves, _dear,_ but you're an idiot. I would have helped—" he noticed the deeper hue of red on her face at his unconscious undermining and backtracked, " _or_ you could have, oh, I don't know, used magic…y'know since you're a bloody _witch._ " He pulled his wand out of his pocket for emphasis. " _Accio my stubborn wife._ "

She scoffed. "Oh, that's rich. You and your stupid best mate literally almost died at the hands of some brainless death eaters today because you thought it would be fun to set off fireworks in their loo after your little undercover op. _Stubborn_ , _my arse._ " She huffed and marched toward the wall which still supported the Christmas boxes, muttering, "I want my bloody Christmas pyjamas."

"Well, that's all a bit different, considering I'm not carrying a human child inside of me, now am I?"

The redhead froze, her back toward him. James grimaced, automatically assuming he had put his foot deep in his mouth. Was "carrying a human child inside" too crude? Was it bad to use the pregnancy as a weapon?

Slowly, she turned back toward James. It was his turn to become motionless as he saw the tears filling his wife's eyes. _Oh, Merlin._ She was crying. A tear spilled over. Then another. Another. Soon, the redhead's face was splotchy and she was practically _weeping._ "Lily…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…I was just…" He stepped forward to pull her into an apologetic embrace before she interrupted him.

"I'm a horrible mother," she blubbered.

He wrapped his arms around her and soothingly whispered, "What? You're the best bloody mother in the…"

"I forgot I was a mother."

 _What?_

James pulled her head off his chest to look at her face. "What was that?"

She buried her face back into his chest, clutching at his sweatshirt. "I forgot…"

"Forgot…what?"

This time, it was she who pulled back to look into his eyes. "I'm pregnant."

James's first reaction was to chuckle. "Well, yes, we've estab—wait. You…forgot you were…pregnant?"

She buried her face back into his sweatshirt in response, tears once again beginning to fall. James, on the other hand, was beside himself. After the first laugh came, there was no stopping the guffaws that echoed through the bedroom and to the rest of their little cottage.

Lily pulled back, once again, to look at him with wide, horrified eyes through her tears. "Why are you…laughing?"

This set off a new round of laughter for James. He took a hand off Lily's back to push his lopsided glasses up his nose. "Lily…you…Merlin. You forgot you were going to have a…baby!"

The small witch continued to stare up at her husband, mortified. The messy-haired boy had his eyes squished shut and was pinching his nose to stop the laughter. "Lily…you have a _human being_ inside you and you just…forgot." A small smile formed on Lily's lips. "Last week, you woke me at 3am to go get custard and broccoli because _the baby is hungry_ and you spent all of yesterday pouring over baby name books with Mary. How the hell do you just…forget…?" At this point, a small snort escaped from Lily's mouth. A giggle closely followed and within a few moments, the young couple were holding their stomachs to stop the ache that came from their new round of laughter.

After several minutes of holding each other for stability, they took deep breaths to regain their grasp on reality. "You're mad, Lily Potter," she shot him a dazzling smile, "and I think I might love you for it."

"Might? James Potter, you're in a bit deep to be throwing words like _maybe_ into your vernacular."

"Is this a moment I pretend to know what vernacular means?"

"This is a moment where you admit your intellectual inferiority to me, your darling pregnant wife."

"Hey, at least you remembered that time."

"James!" she swatted at his chest. His days of Quidditch weren't so far gone that his reflexes weren't still in top condition, however, and he caught her hands with ease.

He dropped their intertwined hands between them as he leaned his forehead against hers. "You can't go scaling closets and scaring me like that, okay? I _know_ you're capable, but it's just too risky. Promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

The redhead returned his small smile. "Only if you make the same promise, Jame Potter. No unnecessary risks. No fireworks in Death Eater houses for theatrics," she scrunched her nose as he smirked, clearly proud of his work, " _okay?_ "

"Okay," he hummed against her forehead as he planted a feathery kiss at her hairline before pulling away to look at her, curiosity evident in his eyes, "so what were you even trying to get from the Christmas boxes? It's barely November."

She shot him a withering glare. "Christmas starts October 31st, James. But if you _must_ know, I want my Christmas pyjamas."

"No."

"What?!"

"No." he said, flatly. "I put up with those last year. I refuse to sleep in a bed next to someone with _fa-la-la-llama_ printed all over her body."

"But that's my _favourite!_ The llamas with the little Santa hats and scarves!" she squealed with a smile, squeezing her eyes shut as she envisioned the festive sleepwear.

"No, no, no. You are going to wear normal people pyjamas this year, Lily."

"Normal people pyjamas to you, James, is nothing at all." she glared.

He smirked, pulling her back into him. "Hey, you said it, not me."

Lily rolled her eyes, but leaned her head into his shoulder anyway. She took a deep breath and smiled, thankful for the cozy life she had made with James. As long as they had Christmas pyjamas to argue over and late nights to embrace in the closet, she could escape to a temporary world where it didn't feel like such a crime to bring a baby into this world.

"So next order of business. Do you understand what that little diamond on your left hand means?"

"What?" she questioned against his chest.

"Well, I mean, you forgot about our baby a few minutes ago, so I just wanted to make sure we were still on for the whole ' _til death us do part_ thing."

Just as James was not too far removed from Hogwarts to recall his Quidditch reflexes, Lily was not too far removed to recall her own favourite hobby: hexing James Potter. And nothing says holy matrimony like a man hiccuping to the tune of Old MacDonald for an hour, if you ask her.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading, friends!**


End file.
